怎么办？

该怎么抉择？

按兵不动？

继续努力？

昨天差点冲动。

现在，除了问号还是问号。爱还是不爱已经很清楚了。我想能解决的人不是我吧。那何来的抉择？

你的一举一动，是内疚，是责任，是关心，还是爱？可能你自己也不清楚吧。

猜不透

I dunno why u asked me to attend the bb shower and offered to send me to attend the wedding dinner and picked me up. There could be lots of reasons why u did that. Or simply u wanted to do it. Or perhaps u don't even know why. I chose to not ask why. Just replied with a simple thanks. 

U scoffed at the xmas present I got you... Saying only your staff will get you tie. U have everything and with our reduced interaction.. It's even harder to know what to get for you. I explained my choice to you and u seemed to understand the effort behind the gift. He said I could get him a toy but I said I didn't which one to get. Then he replied even himself also dunno which is the one he want to get... So with that said.. How will I know which to get? 

He's such a dynamic person n doesn't.. How can one read his thoughts? I guess over time, I gave up trying and it became boring.... And appeared as no effort to him...

Yest.. f commented that he's 24肖老公... I wonder if he caught that. My biggest failure.. Is that I'm always the 默默付出kind... Efforts that's can be easily forgotten n probably replaced. 

角度

戏里说到：

施与受，都各得所需。

其实真的很对。

从来没那么想过。

最近我变了，我开始注意身边的点点滴滴，并越来越能体会跟明白。身边的一切其实都很有趣。如果你用心去看，去体会。或许有一天哲学会变成我的兴趣？

要让伤口愈合，需要时间并且不去触碰它。不是逃避而是给予空间。等到复原的那一天，疤痕或许还在，但伤口不再疼痛了。从此，我们都会变成更好的我。

选择

今天，有人告诉我，我的笑声很好听，有感染力。你是否这样觉得呢？

我不是不知道世界的险恶和现实，但我选择相信美好的一面。

我不是不知道会被伤害，但因为你，给了我勇气。因为怕被伤害而选择不爱，我觉得太可悲了。

我不是活在泡泡世界里，而是觉得如果抱着这些包袱的做人太累了。我选择相信爱，相信美好，相信人性本善，选择原谅，选择包容。

我们都渴望拥有家庭的温暖，我们都渴望不被伤害。但同时，我们都背负着各自的包袱。

即使这样，我仍相信，你好的一面，世美好的一面。选择并不代表隐藏，而是真正明白了。笑一个吧！

Smile by MJ

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile 
If you just

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Some words

On Sunday night, I wanted to iron the clothes because I wanted to do it while I have the chance to do so. Due to my pride, I've probably never told you before, but I always feel very proud and happy seeing you dressed smartly. 

我一直不肯对自己诚实，你在我心中有多重要，我是多么害怕失去你。无论如何，你始终是我在这世上最关心的其中一个人。

我选择用“关心”这个词汇，因为我不想给予你负担和压力。我学会了用别人的角度来思考。

毕竟手心和手背都是肉，这是我人生的一堂课，也是你的。